...Ex, the next, anD the GirL He Now TexT...

Sumbody told me that there is always three
In fact this shit has happened to me

I think u should always know ur role

But hiden ur postion is usually a mans goal
Ex, the next, and the girl he now text
Who are you?
Confused?
Here I”ll help give you a clue
Hello?
Yea it’s me again you know how this conversation go
I been callen you all day
How much basketball can u really play
I saw u dancing the other nite all over that chick
We stop talken for two minutes and she who u pick?
Ewww
I thought better of you
Is that as good as u can do?
BUT Forget all that this time im not tryna fight
Really I just wana make things rite
Remember me I use to have the number that ur fone nu how to dial
You say u care but y I aint heard from u in a while
I use to get replies in four minutes flat
Your passenger seat is where my body once sat
No im not daten anyone
Those rumors u hear aren’t tru
I been stuck on you for months u kno I love you
We use to talk everyday and truth be told i miss you
But now it seems you got so much to do
Whe did u get so busy and distracted
Wish I knu this is how u acted
Use to kiss me, hug me, and make me smile
These days I don’t think its my number u dial
What’s this I hear about sumbody nu
Dang tell me that ain’t true
Cus I really care and want things to not be so out of place
So can u just drop by some time so I can see your face?
Boy Stop playen u kno u miss me I think we can turn things around
Im not as thirsty as I sound
I just feel like I should tell u how I feel
So come by sometime so we can chill
I kno u busy but I”ll sit here and wait
By the way you said u’d call me back but I thought I’d call u cus it was getting late
And I think we should really work things out tonite cus what we got is deep
And …wats that u fina go to sleep?
Ex, The next, and the girl he now text
Who are you?
Confused?
Here lemme give you a clue
Aww hey boo
Im so glad its you
Been waiten all day to see ur face
So wat tyme u comen ova to my place?
Don’t forget ur tooth brush you kno you always forget
Oh and tell ur ex to get off of facebook talken all that shit
I kno she just haten add her to the list
I kno wen she saw us dancin she got pissed
But enuf about her wat we eaten tonite
I thought maybe we could go out and grab a bite
Oh u so sweet
Wat u say u broke rite now? well its my treat
Cus afta last nite u can have wateva like
Hush hush lets keep it on the low
It”ll last longer if people don’t know
Cus u so different from the boys back home
I was sick of A hats and kicken it at the Georgia Dome
Ever since u came around I can’t stop smilen
So wen my minutes are free its u im dialen
I really enjoy the time we spend
Sometimes I close my eyes and wish it’d never end
I believe you wen u say im the one and only
I’m so use to u bein here that wen u gone I admit I get lonely
I say we get sum movies and I lay on ur chest
We can lay in bed and not get any rest
Can’t believe I never noticed you all of these days
Im so attracted to your swag and confident ways
Have I ever told u how u compliment my style
You just as cute as me haven’t felt like this in awhile
Those polos, button ups, and those eyes
I deleted the numbers of all those otha guys
Cus you different and u better than all that
So hurry up and get over here you know they key is always under the mat
Ex, the next, and the girl he now text
Which one are you?
Hopefully this last conversation will give you a clue
OMG can’t believe u hit me up today
When I saw u at the party u had so much to say
LOL I think u look good too
The nite is young wat you bout to?
WTF didn’t kno there was a party there
Maybe I”ll stop by afta I do my hair
You say u single and I wouldn’t have guessed
By the way I like you in that vest
Y don’t u ever call me im usually free
O this is you getting to kno me
Well in that case where you from? How old are you? And do have any drama?
I’d hate to find out you got a baby mama
Oh no kids well I like how that sound
Yea I’m low key so u may not have seen me around
You say u wana take it slow and see were things go
You really think you the type of guy that I should get to know
Well well well u may be rite
If I get in early u should stop by tonite
I hope u ain’t talken to any otha chicks on the yard
Cus jugglin the books and drama can be kinda hard
LOL u so rite
You don’t seem like the type of dude that we get me in a fight
In fact you seem kinda smart wats u major
What kinda fone u got I thought I saw u wit a razor?
O it was ur boys that’s wats up
Do u drink? do u smoke? I saw u wit that red cup
O its ok everybody has a vice
As long as u not hood and shooten dice
Awwww I would like to get to know you to
So from this day forward ima send nuthen but smiley faces to you
U say u really like me and u wana chill and get to kno me too
Well before we do all that ima keep textin you
Ex, the next, and the girl he now text
Who are you?
Still confused..well get a clue

..i WanT to DatE liKe mY MoTheR... DedIcated to My MOmmY & Daddy the bEst DUo...

I blame my addiction to hip hop and my attraction to unlady like rap songs that are stained in lyrics about the street, only haven one beat, and bein quick on ya feet, drugs, hoes, clothes to my father. To all of you who i hate that i'd rather bump JAy, Wayne, Ti and Drake before Beyonce, Rihanna, Neyo, or Keisha Cole blame him. Damn him for putten the hunger for hip hop in my DNA. Who told him to slip that in my blood like a date rape drug? Sneakie him its the best mistake he eva made. I goggled him the otha day and found his vinyl on sale online. Pops is semi famous but his always been iconic in my eyes.

I am a product of a biracial love story with a soundtrack full of Stevie Wonder and SuperSonic tracks to accompany a chance meeting on a fly by night in the LA area. I thank my mother for that nite taken a chance with the black dude who had all the ladies and the sWag oh yea...im talken bout my dad. I gueSS she knowS hoW to piCk um.

I want to date like my mother. Sometimes I hear her voice when I ride in cars with boys, “ It’s okay to just be friends. Date and see what you like.” Oh mommy if it was only that easy. I try to imagine her as a young lady in 80’s clubs looken for “friends” while dancing to Cool and the Gang and Run DMC. How did she know who and what to stay away from? Has she been hurt beyond repair once before in her younger years and I Just don’t know? She loves fearlessly. I want to date like my mother.

I suggested maybe shit has changed since the 80’s. “ Mommy Im dealin with a nu breed of dudes these days! They don’t care about me or themselves. Okay take that back maybe all they care about is themselves. They come from daddies who didn’t fall in love with their mothers. And mothers who warn them about loving girls without asking there heart and brain permission first. ” And then I hear her breath as only she can “Men will be men. Whether it’s the 80’s or 2009.”

She tells me she was my weight a little shorter than me and never stick skinny. Damn who knu I’d be her mirror image? She lied down only to get up and nine months later push out her self. I sat down and asked my mom how the hell her dating expereiences went so smooth? Im 23 and I feel like I’ve lived every major high love drama movie out on the shelves at Blockbuster. Where’s the baby daddy drama? Ike and Tina re-enactments? Maury worthy drama? Tears and flat tires? Was there ever any 808’s and Heartbreaks worthy moments? She simply stated, “ No I knu what I wanted and wat I didn’t want. “ Another simply stated statement from the simple dating woman. When will I learn to be like her? I want to date like my mother.

... i'm jUst nOt thERe...

I've been running ....

i'm exhausted who knew these skeletons would chase me?

.... LIVE FROM DALLAS:random...

i have ten minutes and thirty seconds according to this computer im using in the Dallas airport to spit out my thoughts and wrap up the last week! So here we go..... th open mic was a scuccess! WOn second place after sum chick who spit about the same ole same ole...a dude who did her wrong lol but i cant speak to mcuh on that cus hey my piece was about....a dude who did me wrong! wen will we ever write about things that dont break our hearts? after spekain with a friend after the whoe function he brought sumthin to my attention..why do s write about aint niggas wen ur the one choosing the aint niggas? nine times out of ten u kno they aint . hmmm excuse th elanguage but hey he was write. he inspired me to possibly write about the wrong s do by expecting too much. so shout otu to rob! if and ever if u read this u made me think which is more than i can say for most these days lol

ok seven mintues... lol ummm the bday ! wow too mcuh fun went to lousiana unfortunatly i cant post pics on this airport comp but no worries they"ll be up soon! i love any city that will serve alcohol at any time and have clubs open until the sun comes up! wat a wekeend! mardi gras plus good friend made for the best 23rd birthday eva! being back down south made me remember why i love my region so much! the southern accents and food were enuf to make me wana pack mybags and consider livin bare foot by the bayou!

four minutes.... ok so after reachin 23 and doin so much productive things you would think i would be happy and content with life but lately ive been far from it. have u ever felt like u have everything but at the same time have nothing? i was talkign with a friend the other nite and th equestion came up ...can u be happy without love? can u be happy alone? love i just wana be able to trust again..hell be happy again. ive been doing great putiing up this act liek im ok but really...world im not. so help me! wen do big situations turn small? wen does happiness prevail over trama. ,aybe ive been tramatized by life and happiness will come wen i heal from the rocks lifes thrown at me lately....one minute well im off to chciago then ohio! love from me in dallas to u! XOXO

....bUsy, Busy, bUsy, bUt Not tO bUSy fOr yoU...

things have been...busy. and crazy did u hear chris brown is in jail for slappin sum chick ?! DUDES HAVE OFFICIALLY LOST THERE MINDS! crossin my fingers its not TRU! anywayback to me lol...

im doin my third spoken word at UC (university of cincinatti) tomorrow and im majorly geeked. Im hopen to get sum things off my chest!! i chose this piece entitled "we cant be friends". the ladies should eat it up cus its honestly real! i"ll post the piece in due time!

i recently used my good looks for sumthin besides pickin up useless dudes and did a fashion show on thursday the pics above include the models and desginers of the show! Yes i know im lookien extra radiant on the rite hand side LOL I made sum really good friends and im glad i finally got off my butt and got involved in sumthin on campus! Anywho that would be to blame for the lack of post BUT it s all over and i had a blast! be sure to check out BUcketLeak and Curtis Alexander there both two lines that should be doin big things in the upcoming years!!

ima wrap things up just wanted to touch base. apologize for the lack of activity! I should be catching a flight this week to celebrate the whole bday festivities! I"ll be 23 for those of you who don't kno and instead of sitting in dayton and recycling kleenex cus of my lack of a love life i"ve decided to party the weekend away.wish me luck on my trip to the bayou its always nice to back in the south no matter were it is! i'm def on my way to cathin sum zZzZ's but before i do i had to post the funniest thing i"ve seen ALL week ! I felt bad laughin at this kid but this oddly reminded me of sum ppl when they get drunk LOL just watch it and ALL of it cus only then will u understand! EnJoY ! lOve', LiVe, PrAy,ShOp, and LaUgH itS the ONly WaY to Live!

......LISTEN: dAtinGs A Waste oF TymE.....

To some people im strait weird or border line white sue to my tatse in music and clothing but hey i am who i am and im dang near 23 which means im independent enuf to understand its okay to be different...which leads me to saying KATY PERRY is pretty much the shit! LOL i soooooooo slept on her music and work but its so much better than i thought! I def wanted to share two of my favs by her and hopefully i"ll be helping you broaden ur musical taste ..so eat up! lol

I Think Im Ready - Katy Perry

Youre so gay (Cory Enemy Skeet Skeet Remix) - Katy Perry

In other news I woke up before jumpin into my skool clothes and over sized hand bag and got incredibly inspired from a convo wit the roomies. We sat on our brand nu used couch from craigslist and discussed why we think dating is a waste of time because nothing ever works out! Being that we are in our early twenties we are pretty much in a lose lose battle with yung men these days so i wrote about it....feel free to comment if im wrong but...LISTEN DATING TRULY IS A WASTE OF TYME!

Dating is a waste of time
By now at 23 ive heard every line
You exchange digits and have pointless conversations
And weeks or months later you and him are haven relations
He tells stories about how his ready to possibly change
So u delete numbers and your life starts to rearrange
He may admit that his not ready to settle down
But ur hopeful ladies so u stick around
Movies, dinner, the mall, and a few nights at home
It feels good to finally not be alone
The sex is great and his looks make up for everything he lacks in ambition
So now your holden on to all of that while putting yourself in a compromising position
His kisses melt you like butter and his hugs make u feel safe and all
But the fact that he needs other chicks begins to be his downfall
By now his won you over with his smile but his late night text make u feel like his runnin game
And now u you start to feel like "all niggas are the same"
You begin to see things on facebook that make u think twice
He stops doin things that use to be nice
Two months into it ur just old news
So things get routine and u get the blues
No longer is it exciting when he walks thru the door
Cus when he comes in he don’t even kiss u no more
ESPN and Playstation get more love than you
And since your hearing things about him creepin u start to ask "is it true?"
But NOW you”ve over stepped your boundaries so he reminds you that “you ain’t my girl remember?”
Your bed was just a pit stop and your bootie was a lender
Stupid you to go out of your way and play the act of main chick for so long
Bring on the Kleenex and a good Keisha Cole song
Its gonna be a long night
Cus what Your about to have is the official "fUcK yOu fIgHt"
It’s a bunch of fuck u fuck fuck u’s and u were neva shits
And by then end of the convo ur both ready to call it quits
You kick him out and pack his random little things
Ignore his fone calls when the fone rings
Reply to text messages with an attitude and no smiley faces
Every memory you have of him erases
Pictures, his soap, his tooth brush, and charger all meet the trash
After admitting his been talken to other chicks You wana go Jasmine Sullivan but hey you got class
So when you see him you ignore him and roll your eyes
By now his got somebody new and you”ve barely said your goodbyes
Dating is a waste of time
Im 23 and by now I’ve heard every line
It is a who can fuck who and leave who first type game’
And ladies our situations usually end up the same
So save you’re the time and heart ache
And believe when I say dating is a mistake

...heLLo mR.PresiDenT ....

its taken days for things to set in. we officially have a black president. i watched obama speak two days ago and almost found myself in tears three times. i couldn't believe that i was watching history that my kids and grandchildren will later ask me about. its been surreal, a blessing, a dream, and a pleasure to see the inauguration and the beginning of what hopefully is the end to a horrible battle and storm. I was once again at a lost for words when i saw my girl of all girls Beyonce sing for the president and first lady and if u missed it of course... i got u! eNjOy and try ur best to hold on to these memories and feelings...we are living history folks whether u realize it or not! :)

.....*N-O-T-O-R-I-O-U-S*....

happy sunday world!! saw the biggie movie and i have a nu respect for him and his journey!! i was always a tupac kinda girl but big hands down has always gotten love from the cd player and I. i heard lil kim wasnt to happy about how she was portrayed but the queen bee has nuthin to worry about cus she def still has me as a fan. an ex 3LW member played the hell out of the role as lil kim and if u havent made it to the theater yet heres a little of wat ur missin!


anywho i had another um....interesting nite last nite and have recently become irritated world cus i cant seem to figure sumthin out....why wen u want sumone to fall off the earth u see them everywhere but wen u want them to take over ur world they are no were to be found. im begining to wonder if god has a bigger sense of humor than i thought...maybe he just wants me to take a life lesson and laugh my latest troubles off and by shoving accidental run in and friendly reminder in my face his letting me kno that this is one "sitaution" i wont be able to just walk away from ....hmmmmm....idk got a little personal lol but if u ever just wanted to move on so bad but u kept seeing the obstacle it may become how do u say? FRUSTRATING lol well heres to moving the obstacle out the way and bein NOTORIOUS from here on out:)

.....fLiGht 2365....

iM n PhILLY

...for an hour! catching the flight back to my apartment was suppose to feel better than this...but it doesnt. Its cold here which depresses me cus i kno it will be even colder in oHiO. i get a lot of questions about oHio like: are there black people there? or does it snow everyday? my response to those questions are: if those things were true i wouldnt be there. lol seein as i have two more semesters before i throw the cap and walk away for good im hoping to chalk up past experiences and make this the last and best year of my college experience. college is funny thou u fight to get here and then u fight to get the hell out. im boarding the plane soon and i cant help but to dread that im going back to ego filled frat parties, alcohol fueled events, materialstic and selfish boys not men, disrespectful,judgemental, and unhonest girls, drama and rumored drowned campuses, nap consumed afternoons, noodle dinners, waffle house breakfast, and homework craming nights and suddenly i feel like wats the point? i began to think that maybe college was more harmful than helpful. i guess at this point its only natural that i found myself wanting to reread a text that my mom sent me: "The lessons along ur path are gods invitation for you to grow. Although we may be unaware of it God is always urging us forward giving us the experiences we need to surrender our mistaken ideas of life. Luv Mommy."

......ArE yOU paPeR oR PlAstIc?.....

Tonites my second open mic and to say the first was aight would be an understatement. I was never big on sharing my writing with people only because it felt so private and liek i was letting people into my brain which made me feel insecure and unguarded but sharing my heart in words has turned out to be better then sharing my heart physically which means i may have found a nu addiction. So thank you ..spokenword... for being my therapist:)

So as i'm sitting in a crowded dark room full of other people who have a love affair with periods, commas, and feelings i find myself inspired from a poem that keeps reciting the term "paper or plastic" ...paper or plastic... the poem was about sum lady and how she the store clerk reminded her of her grandmother wen she asked "paper or plastic?" The poem was kool and the poet was on point by the way :shoutout to www.blackpoetventure.com cus she was from their organization...anyway i took away sumthing totally different from her poem and he had nothing to do with an old lady lol

I think as a twenty sumthin year old growing women that sumtimes i have to ask myself
"aRe yOu pApEr or PLAsTIc?"

are u aritifical or real? are u about wats rite or wat feels rite? are u concerned with bein natural and who you are or is it easier to be fake and be sumone else? i recently have discovered that im about doin for others but that definetly to me is fake and would categorize me as plastic. or does it? can i naturally just want to see others happy? or is it unnatural to allow others to be happy while im still stuck to my plastic ways? its not easy to self analyze but i find that everyday im attempting to find out who i am and sumtimes i fail at being paper but dont feel comfortable being plastic.
im not sure how to transform from being plastic to paper but im guessing going
from a hard foundation to sumthin as smooth as paper may take longer than
my twenties to figure out.

....hEllo ArE u tHeRe.....

Wats nu world?!! i woke up today feelin optimistic and blessed so i cant complain about much of anything ! since skool is still out ive had time to catch up on sum music and sum tunes have successfully taken over the laptop and cd player SO.... i thought i would share with you my nu favs in hopes that u"ll also become addicted and we"ll share the same playlist:) consider it a privilege for me to share my musical interest and insight witcha! no worries i"ll bill u later! cant say that they are all happy go lucky liven my life like its golden type songs but hey bare with me for a few weeks!! in any case its good music!! with that ima throw the deuces for the day....GOD IS LOVE REV RUN lol

...Daddy's Girls....

ive def found my nu addiction!! ( which seems to be my nu catch phrase lol ) The Simmons Girls , Angela and Vanessa, remind me of me n my sis and therefore im given it two thumbs up cus they are pretty like us and equally ambitious!! besides now i have a nu reason besides upcoming college basketball to stay home on a monday nite lol until i recieve my own show heres two thumbs up to the black version of "The Hills". not mention angela recently got the boot and im down for n e one who can relate!!:) lol

....i"ve gOt a cRusH oN yoU.....

Okay so clearly i bounce back from traumatic let downs because already i must admit....i have a crush....

.....on these shoes.....
they have officially been stalking my dreams for 2 weeks
why cant they just leave me alone?? LOL and now i must
break my back and torture my wallet until i get them!
uggghhhhhh damn YOU shopping addiction!!!! :)

....hErE wE gO AgAiN....

i use to tell my brother to be careful with the hearts of girls.
sum things are fragile n unrepairable n the heart of a women is one of those
i use to explain that men don't understand the power they have over a womans heart,mind, n body
one mans actions can punish a season of men after n im afraid ive become a victim
wat may be small to them may alter us for life.
heres to the hopes my brother never makes a girl feel like i do......




im sick of hurting so bad
i guess thats y i get so mad
cus wat i wanted made me cry
then pushed me to wana die
killed my insides and caused me to scream
pain i still feel wen i dream
cus i still hurt so bad
i guess thats y i get so mad
i cant control my own pain
that type of shit can make u go insane
so mister i wana tell u that u hurt me
so bad
even thou u use to make my insides go mad
u have destroyed who i was with ur actions n words
ur games werent meant for me but instead them birds
silly me to buy in and now cry like child
and allow u to see my sanity go wild
cus i never knu that u'd make me hurt so bad
and literally drive me mad
made decisions that were to much for this southern bell
now i must pray over time to escape from hell
cus of my choices i now hurt so bad
so this is for everyone who has ever gone mad
i dont promise sanity will come again
u will watch him with others n jealousy may win
and it"ll still hurt so bad that ur words begin to vomit
and ur self control will refuse to sit
but wen u hurt this bad i dont suggest u take that shit
instead i say let urself lose control
instead just let it hurt so bad
and surcome to temporarily feelin glad
and blame ur actions on the fact that his made u mad
cus i dont promise happiness is tomorrow or the next day
so i"ll tell u wat they tell me "babygirl just pray"
ur tears may make u wana die
but its ok stop holdin it in... just cry
its only cus u hurt this bad
that he makes ur sun kissed skin go so mad
and ur tears burn wholes in the cheeks of who use to be innocent no more
i cry tears of brown eyes that are sore
a soul that i wrecked and a body that is weak
a horse voice that hesitates to speak
cus i hurt so bad
my vocal chords have screamed so much from goin mad
there is no voice of pulse of a body that sits in silence
fist that wait for violence
cus wen i fell i never knu u'd walk away
my body assumed u'd stay
and wen u kissed me i never knu that id one day wish to spit them back at u
instead of screaming ur name i should have screamed wats true
and the funny thing is i neva loved u kid
but i loved the things that u did
and that is now i hurt so bad
that ive turned my heart mad
silly u convincing my brain to kill pieces of me
the error of ur ways u"ll soon see
didn't u kno it was u not ur status that i use to miss
hold on lemme breath cus... i cant believe my body hurts like this
u can keep money, excuses, and mistakes
cus i realize u were one among many fakes
and now i hurt so bad
that i have officially gone mad

...gooDbYe 2008... bUt bEfOre i GO...

The holidays have come and gone and i could spill out all the
drama and thrills that have consumed me and kept me away
from you...or ....i could save that for the following days to come and
simply wish you a happy new year!!! I so far have had a vacation
full of tamales, menudo, ham, and greens ( how multicultural can
my family get LMBO?). I looked back on 08 and started to remember favorites..ya kno favorite songs, hottest looks, favorite cd's n stuf. So after over eating and sleeping
I realized out of all the non cable television
i've been watching that my favorite commercial of 08 was the following...
everyone loves sum Jay...rite? i mean u gotta love... " RULE NUMBER 99 STAY ON HER MIND" LOL idk why that turned me on ...but it did in so mnay ways LOL The point is if we could do things as smooth and calculated as Jay-z we'd all enjoy a better year!
so with that in mind take sum pointers for HOV himself and enjoy!
i look forward to hashing out life's up and downs with u in 09!