..{dRoWnInG}...

Theres no feeling like drowning .

The panic u feel is unparallel

Suddenly u feel like your in hell

U gasp for air but wen ur arms go up no ones there

Seems like your legs cant move fast enuf

and the smooth waters become ruff

idle waves now tackle your lungs and your body

and ur mind goes to places that are unexpected

Seems like all the simple things are now neglected

Theres no feeling like drowning alone and ur feet never hitting the ground

Your ears become deaf and u cant hear a sound

Voices become faint and u become a catholic suddenly looking for a saint

Once surrounded by a crowd your body jerks for a persisence thats no longer there

and now it seems like dying from drowning is so unfair

Screams to the one who cant seem to understand

that even if others throw in life savers you really would prefer there hand

You wonder why they cant hear you thru the splashes and screams?

they ignore your advances at least thats how it seems

You mind goes to him even more as you panic

Your heart begins to go frantic

Why cant he comprehend hand gestures, crys, or looks of terror when he sees them?

You begin to think he ignores it all and instead he wishes u would just swim

tired of waiting your lungs give in and u begin to sink

Who knu drowning would make it so hard to think?

Theres nothing like bein short of breath and watching people walk by

Your tears blend in with the water so they no longer see you cry

A pool full of people seems so empty and has you in over your head

Your body says fight but you sink instead

Heavy to the touch drowning bodies tend to get cold

Once made of hearts of gold

Drowning in the dark can be so enlighting

But grabing for no one can be equally frighting

..i PLaY GaMeS....

I play hop scotch with hearts of men.

Trying to hurt them before the hurt can begin.

i play dice with life in alleys that are all mine.

holden my breath to roll a six or a nine.

i play hide n seek with emotions

hoping they"ll never find me.

in the end they creep up behind me.

i play pick-a-boo with words that explain complicated things

dizzy from the flowers that confusion brings.

dressed in success they will never tell that i have no idea what i desire

i play balance tricks on lifes thin wire.

i run faster than the rest.

emerge from each game with my heart on my chest.

only had one player steal victory from me

he broke the rules and it has was hard to break free.

wat kind of game was that?

he always won.

i quite that game a long time ago..it stopped being fun.

now i like to play in rain drops of hope but

often get to wet from disappointment.

i think these games are hell sent.

seems u can bend the rules if u think hard enuf

but no one said the games of life wouldn't be rough.

the taste of victory must be bitter to the tongue

but at least u kno u"ve won.

im not sure if i wana play anymore i think ive danced and sang to every beat

sumtimes i cant even feel my feet.

i spin in circles trying to find a stopping point and an arm to grab on to.

lost a play mate along the way rest in peace still cant believe its tru.

sumtimes i play in his wings and peek out wen he says its safe now.

never knu how to love glad he taught me how.

nobody said the games of life wouldn't be rough

seems u can bend the rules if u think hard enuf.

.....LiFe's a CiRcUs wAts Ur RolE?.....

"wE faLl dOwN bUt wE gEt uP..."

Donny MCcLurKIn

Well folks its that time again ...finals. I apologize for the brief hiatus but the holidays n skool have monopolized my energy! So...wats nu? lets see... there is alot goin on in world affairs but most importantly did u see the in documentary on brittney spears? QUALITY television and not just because im a brittney fan low key. It actually made me feel like she had a reason for her "insanity". Dont believe me? well watch the trailer for ur self....



there's something about seeing sumones thoughts uncensored that brings a more humanistic quality to their actions and personality. anyway i found it damn entertaining and if u get the chance watch it and absorb her issues for an hour i promise u"ll feel betta about all thats wrong with you! lol

i think wat made me relate to ms.spears so much is the fact that shes under so much pressure to be wat other aorund her want her to be. there is no room for mistakes, off days, or mess ups and wen she finally got to her breaking point she rebeled and said i will be everything u dont want me to be. her babies were unplanned, her love life a wreck, her career in a modest retreat, her body out of shape, her family was estranged from her, and her performance at the VMA made us all wanna reach into the tv and give her a hug. She is the mirror to everyones point of failure she just ahppeend to be wathced by 100's or cameras and 15,000 televisions. We all break down and im not sure i can say that ive viewed my lowest point in life yet...

which scares me.

anyway now that we've realized my break down has yet to come im leavin u wit the talk of every salon, dinner, and facebook chat....thats RITE ... THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA has finally came to an end and u betta that shit was addicting! i was online watchen episodes getting my fix! if u missed the entire show and the exploatation of my little ole ATL here's a little of wat u missed....